It's Christmas time there's no need to be afraid...

I am one of the few who still believes in the true meaning of Christmas, but still, when this time of year approaches, I can't help the pesimism hit me. I hate commercialism, the tinsel, the presents, the christmas trees... and most of all, the bloody christmas songs. There are only two I actually like; fairytale of new york, and the other: Band Aid.

Whenever Band Aid has played, I have always felt that sense of guilt that it provokes. Ironic right? A song written, plugged, sung, recorded and promoted by celebrities, about poverty. Morally, it should be a song I hate, but there's some inherent charm to it that I can't dislike. True, it's an arrogant, moneyed attempt at raising awareness, but it's a song I love.

The one thing that gets me is that the attempt at raising awareness is completely lost on the audience the song has reached. True, the sales of the record have helped alot of people, but money only goes so far, and truth be told, the majority of people who have bought the song (especially the '20' version) have done so because they like the artists who feature. YES, I am grateful that these artists have decided to help a good cause, but really, how much has this record and the one before it really helped?

Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if the self indulgent celebrities (AND US TOO) of the world didn't give just their time, but gave their money to people who needed it more?

YES, feed the world. But honestly, the people who are starving in Africa, and across the world, let's be honest, do not give a fuck if it is Christmas time, they give a fuck about supporting themselves and their families.

After all, I thought that was what Christmas was all about; not being selfish for ONE day in the year, and not using religion as an excuse for buying your kid, your friend, whatever the latest toy or gadget, but for helping out people. For helping people who have no one else to turn to.

I don't care what people think, religious or not, but that, to me, is the meaning of Christmas. So if you have a conscience, any sense of morality, you may read this and take something from it. For those who do, Merry Christmas; keep giving.

realisation

it hits you like a bitch in the face doesn't it? that one moment, when you truly, honestly believe everything has fallen into place, and that moment gets shattered by the simple realisation; you're wrong, again. and now you're back, right back where you were more than two years ago... realisation sucks.

The Place Where I Feel Most Like Me

Yet another Meg and Dia related post, another song off their newest album has caught my attention. I have to say the lyrics have sparked off some thoughts in my mind, that have put aside certain worries I had; the past few weeks have made me worry about the future, and mainly the fact that I seem to have very little idea of what the hell I'm doing with my life, but then the lyrics of this song gave me some comfort. The song in question is The Place Where I Feel Most Like Me, off their third album It's Always Stormy in Tillamook. I'll post a video of it below for anyone who's interested to listen to, just listen to the lyrics, I think they'll give anyone who listens a moment of happiness and serenity. It's the main lyric 'the place where I feel most like me' that has brought on this, it's made me realise that is what life really is isn't it? It's a journey, a pathway for us to find who we really are. I don't think anyone really truly knows themselves do they? Surely this is what life is, it's all about us trying out new things, making mistakes, and learning who we really are. That's what I'm beginning to think anyway, give it a listen.

proud to have been there..

I'm happy to say I was one of the 50,000 students marching in London's protest today against the rise of tuiton fees. I have to say it was a massively liberating experience seeing so many people turn out to begin the massive battle against what is a ridiculous decision made by a government who simply cannot keep their promises.

I find it ridiculously sad that our government thinks it is acceptable to turn what is the simple human right of education into an income assessed finishing school for more middle classed eton boys like Cameron himself, and can not believe that the legislation has even gone through. I think today's march showed that the government, and certainly Nick Clegg, who PROMISED students he would not agree with the lifting of the cap, are not going to get away with what is simply a travesty.

I, without doubt, will be marching and protesting this cause until the government and the rest of society realises that students are not the people who should be picking up the bill for a debt created by greedy bankers and financiers. PLEASE, do not pay attention to the negative media coverage of today, the minority who resorted to violence to raise awareness do not need to be paid attention; just pay attention to the real message we were sending out today.

Education is a right, it is NOT a privilege. Cameron will not get away with this, and Clegg certainly has a lot more to answer for. Today is just the beginning of a long, long battle. But we will win.

don't be careful

my mild obsession with meg & dia has led me to some more of their lyrical genius; some lyrical genius which i think sums up what most people want to tell their significant other/possible conquest (whatever you want to call them).

don't be careful with me, i'm not so delicate, i give you my heart and i know the chance i'm taking. don't hesitate in love it can leave your soul undone, you can't stick your toes in the water, you've got to jump and finally go underwater.

i think these lyrics are really beautiful, i love that they capture the essence of human emotions, how i believe them to be anyway; i don't think anyone really wants to be wrapped in cotton wool and treated like some piece of fine china. sometimes you've got to let the bull loose and throw caution into the wind and realise, you're going to get hurt, don't try to prevent it, it's life people.


in other news, i'm loving this tune at the moment, this guy is epically talented, wish i could beatbox, check him out...

although,

when it's late, and you believe no one is around to listen to your crappy moaning, you've sent a message to almost everyone in your phonebook; there will always be that one person, no matter the time of day, no matter where they are, they will always set everything aside just so you know everything will be okay.

a friend of mine recently wrote a blog talking about the meaning of a friend, but it's really this simple, the people who will do this for you, no matter the time of day, their location; those people, they are your true friends.

simple things.

when alcohol is flowing, you really realise who your friends are, and who you can really rely on. just a simple comment tonight, a simple drunken remark, has not only made me realise who i can rely on, but has made me realise what the truth is. time for change yes, boo yah.

Double Vision

Loved 3oh!3 since I can remember, this just brings back memories of T in the Park this year, best live performance I've seen for a good time. Tune.

Grab my Bags and Go.

so i grab my bags and go, as far away as i can go, cause everything ain't what i used to know

People always talk about having baggage, worries, problems, stuff they always carry around in their head, but really what is this baggage? Why can it be that one situation, one mistake, can sit with a person for the rest of their life, and ultimately send them down a completely different path than the one they really thought they were destined to travel?

Whilst reading a friend's musings on his blog, I've had a massive realisation about this baggage. People really need to just step back, pick up their proverbial suitcases and throw them the hell out of the plane. Life is just way too short to let a simple thought screw them up and mess with their lives. Truth is, everyone is guilty of letting their baggage catch up with them and mess up with things; I myself am certainly not a stranger of trying to run away from it, believe me I have a lot of baggage that I seem to be unable to rid myself of. But this realisation, this minor breakthrough, has helped me to see that I no longer need to carry these things around.

So i'm gonna grab my proverbial bags, my thoughts and my past mistakes have been neatly packed away and I'm going to throw them into the wind. Life is too short for me to let these things change me anymore, the baggage is gone.

rewind.

looking at my last post, you probably wouldn't expect this post, but woooah here were go, major regression.

people can stand up, look at themselves in the mirror and truly believe they have changed, be it for better or worse. but if we look at ourselves deep inside we will really realise that no matter what happens, deep down inside, we will always be the person we once were. i'm not sure if this annoys or invigorates me, but i know it leaves me stuck in that place i thought i was out of.

i think everyone has pivotal moments, where we think we've realised our change, however major or minor, whatever it has been, we've all had moments that we've really believed things were going to change. the optimist in me says yeah, those moments have helped, things have changed, but a few months down the line a simple moment has rewound them. it's crazy how words can change people and put them back to a moment they thought they had passed.

but it's true, words can change everything, and yeah people go on about actions speaking louder than words, but without words we would be nothing. and without those few words i'd heard tonight, i'd be unable to see the truth. and to not see the truth, is not to live.

sunshine.

"stop living in the sunshine
start living in the rain
stop telling me you'll be fine
start living with the pain"


When I heard this, I actually realised what people's problem is. We spend too much time thinking 'what if', wondering how it would be if we won the lottery tomorrow, wasting our days away dreaming. The sad reality is that people spend two hours a day day dreaming, picturing their next holiday, spending money they haven't already got, and forgetting the most important thing- what they already have.

We are so ungrateful for what we have, no matter how lucky we are, how amazing the people around us are, the sacrifices they have made for us, we always want to go another material step forward. For what is the meaning of life if you don't have a soft-top convertible and apple's new needless gadget, eh?

I myself have been guilty, so many times, for being materialistic and taking everything around me for granted, but I honestly think it's about time everyone stood back and took a look at what they actually have. Cars, blackberries, massive 9 bedroom houses, I-Pads or whatever they are, mean nothing but status. True, you may want to waste your life needlessly chasing a higher status, but what does it really mean when you sit back and see no real achievement, no one around you to care?

These material things are bullshit, they mean nothing, so why do people waste so much of their time wondering what life would be like IF they had the latest thing?! IT DOESN'T MATTER, look what you have people!! We're all lucky enough to have families around us, people who actually give a shit about us, most of us have jobs that allow us to splash out on the material crap, and if we don't have that, we are lucky enough to live in a place where the opportunities are available to succeed.

I people took those 2 wasted hours of day dreaming, and put them to good use, all the things they dream of would be that little bit closer. And true, it isn't going to take 5 minutes, but isn't success so much sweeter when you've actually worked your arse off for it?!

People need to stop the needless wishing. Pick yourself up and put yourself to work, and instead of wishing for the sunshine, the hard work will bring it straight to your front door.


boom.

The Beginning of my Journey...

I've always wanted to have a romantic view of life, I'm the type of person who could spend hours people watching, imagining if I were them, or staring at the trail of a plane, wondering if I were the one to take that flight, where would it take me?

I've just come back from hitch hiking to Morocco for a charity LCD. Three students, taking lifts with strangers, crazy concept right? But it was actually the most amazing experience I have ever ever had. When we took our health and safety meeting for the hitch I remember the reps repeating how the hitch would re-affirm our faith in humanity, and help us reassess so much, but I really didn't think it would hit me with so much impact.

Hitch hiking is probably one of the most defeating, yet uplifting tasks you could ever do. Our first day was probably one of the best, our first lift a lexus with a financial adviser- cushty right?! Just to be followed, within a wait of about 20 minutes, by a guy who'd taken hitchers a year before. He even went out of his way to take us straight to the ferryport, a feeling of euphoria that I thought we couldn't beat. I think after these first amazing lifts we'd become slightly too optimistic, thinking the rest of the hitch would be just as easy. The optimism began to fade as soon as we stepped onto the ferry, Le Havre bound, to find about 30 other hitchers, who we knew would all be battling us for a lift the other side of the ocean. And to make things worse, all potential lifts were fast asleep. When we got off the ferry at Le Havre only to see the final car pull away (Yes, we were let off last) I have to admit we already felt defeated.
Yet three hours and three laps of Le Havre later the feeling of optimism had returned when a couple of Armenian guys pulled over and agreed to take us to Paris.

Anyway, the hitch continued, probably the lowest point being stuck in a dead end service station, thunder and lightning and hail raining down on us making it impossible to camp, the service station about to close, and after about 5 and a half hours of waiting, even I (who had been dancing like an idiot all day) was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Hitching truely does make you reassess your outlook on bad and good things in life, putting the little everyday things into so much perspective. Every little lift, even if it was from one side of town to the other, meant so so much to us. And like the reps told us, it really did restore our faith in people, knowing that they are willing to pick you up and even despite not speaking a word of English will take you on a 5 hour lift, or go an hour out of their way to take you directly to the ferry port.

I have to say, getting off the ferry in Tangiers, Morocco, was probably the most euphorically happy I have ever felt in my entire life, but I think the major feeling was sheer disbelief that we had actually managed to make it all this way, just on the kindness of other people. To top it off, even before we boarded the ferry we met 5 other people, also hitchers, who we agreed to spend the next 8 days with. Meeting these guys, who had also gone through the same experience, was such an uplifting thing, knowing that they too had gone through the same feelings of despair and euphoria.

The whole experience has truely reshaped my outlook on life, seeing a 5 year old child being forced by his own mother to sell a packet of tissues, just so they can eat, or hearing a girl ask you for one sip of your water, is truely humbling. When you hear about stories like this or see them on tv you feel a momentary impulse of guilt, but it isn't until you see them face to face that it hits you how lucky you are.

True to say, I have not travelled the world in 80 days or reached the top of Mt Everest, but for me this experience has been absolutely amazing. I now feel I can acheive so much more, just knowing how lucky I am to be the person I am today. I feel like I am a true traveller, even though it is one single experience, and can not wait to get on the road again. It's so true that the freedom of travelling is amazing, a feeling that I can not wait to feel again, a reminder of how lucky I really am.


Wild horses, I wanna be like you, throwing caution into the wind, I'll run free too

Starting anew, fifty new and relevant things about me.

1. Charlie Diplock is a massive geek for loving CSI so much.
2. But I too am a massive geek, cos I still wanna meet Horatio.
3. I can not for the life of me stop saying 'yeah boyyyy'
4. The cheaper cider is, the better it is. FACT.
5. My sarcasm often ruins perfect moments.
6. But tbh, my sarcasm is hilarious, yeah boyyy.
7. I like sleeping naked...
8. I've now got seven tattoos... and the sleeve has begun!
9. Waking up to a certain someone singing to me is the most amaaaazing thing ever.
10. I'm finally beyond content and am now extremely happy with what i have.
11. 2010 is definately going to be my year.
12. I'm hitch hiking to Morocco with Meddy this Easter, and it is going to be one of the best experiences ever!
13. I love Welsh Club.
14. The friends I've met in Cardiff are irreplacable!!
15. I find it scary that I've signed a contract for a house next year.
16. I find it even more scary that the girls think I'm responsible enough to be in charge of it :|
17. I must be the top follower of bbc iplayer.
18. Procrastination is definately the way forward.
19. Being content is never good enough for me.
20. I always want the best and nothing else.
21. But i still don't know what the 'best' for me is.
22. Hence, the constant screw ups of what could've been good opportunities.
23. I've started to see myself in a different light, one that I haven't wanted to see.
24. I have finally come to realise how much I love my mother and father for all the support they've given me.
25. And feel so god damn guilty for it taking me this long to realise.
26. I wish i wasn't so unmotivated.
27. I wish i could stop drinking.
28. I wish i could stop being a loud mouth.
29. I wish i hadn't done a lot of things in the past.
30. Putting aside the hatred, i have really begun to miss three people in the past weeks.
31. I wish them forgiving me was as easy as I want it to be.
32. Mistakes like these suck.
33. I wish i could stop living in the past and move on.
34. I'd love to be a "Yes Man"
35. I'd love to be able to do something everyday that scares the shit out of me.
36. Because that would make me feel alive, i don't want to just exist.
37. It scares me that time passes so fast.
38. Even more scary, is that I still don't know what my life is going to consist of, i'm completely clueless!
39. A new clarinet would be good right now.
40. Or a saxaphone, please.